The Forgiveness Formula

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Sep 24

Disappointment and frustration arise when our expectations aren’t met, often leading to unforgiveness. However, forgiveness is our first line of defense against the pain of hurt and disappointment. In this message, Pastor DaVon shares four simple steps that make up the forgiveness formula.

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Notes

Matthew 18:21-35

Forgiveness is a delicate yet crucial topic that stirs deep emotions. It’s not easy to address, but it's absolutely necessary.
A lot of people have a misconception about what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
Forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
In the Scriptures, forgiveness is never presented as a feeling; it’s always described as a decision.
Forgiveness always feels like a decision to reward your enemy.
Forgiveness ensures your freedom from a prison of bitterness and resentment.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

Colossians 3:12-13

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Colossians 3:13 TPT

Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them.

Forgive because the Lord has forgiven you
If you keep your eyes on the cross, forgiveness is a responsibility from one undeserving person to another.
As a believer, you’re called to view forgiveness from the perspective of the cross.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 TPT

Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.

Remember, this is not written by a guy sitting on a beach in Tahiti. This man is writing from prison after being wrongly arrested, whipped, stoned, and shipwrecked
Paul felt free to command the Christians to forgive because they also had been freely forgiven
Have you forgotten what you have been forgiven of?
If you are hesitant to forgive, it’s because you are evaluating your forgiveness in light of what was done to you rather than what was done for you.
You don’t forgive because the other person deserves it; you forgive because you’ve been forgiven.
If you are committed to keeping your heart free of anger and bitterness then forgiveness is a way of life for you

Luke 23:34

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” And they divided His garments and cast lots.

Disappointment and frustration occurs when expectations are not met which opens the door to unforgiveness
Forgiveness is the first line of defense in the face of hurt and disappointment.

4 Simple Steps

Identify who you’re angry with.

Who is someone you would prefer not to encounter again?
Who do you find yourself having imaginary conversations with?
Who would you seek revenge on if you knew there’d be no consequences?
Who do you secretly desire to see fail?

2. Determine what he or she owes you.

General forgiveness doesn’t heal specific hurts.
You know what the person who hurt you did, but what exactly did they take?
Until you know the answer to that question, you’re not ready to forgive.

3. Cancel the debt.

This transaction is between you and God.
It’s not necessary to tell the person you’ve forgiven that you have forgiven them. In fact, it could do more harm than good.
You are deciding that your offender doesn’t owe you anything anymore.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, _________ has taken _________ from me. I have held on to this debt long enough. I choose to cancel this debt. _________ doesn’t owe me anymore. Just as you forgave me, I forgive _________.

4. Dismiss the case.